Nothing to Worry About, Tim Walz Is Just a Maoist

A weak 2024 presidential ticket, but Walz makes the choice clear...

Tim Walz’s selection as Kamala Harris’s running mate isn’t a masterstroke of strategy; it’s the Democratic Party’s swan dive into radical progressive waters. It’s as if they’ve swapped their last shred of moderation for a lifetime subscription to Mao’s Little Red Book. But Walz isn’t just another Midwest progressive—he’s a different breed entirely.

For years, Walz has sold himself as the "everyman," but what’s behind that façade? Allegations of dishonesty about his military service, with veterans accusing him of "stolen valor" and questioning his suspicious leap from master sergeant to command sergeant major, persist. Predictably, Democrats dismiss these concerns, but no amount of spin can erase his history of embellishments.

Since slipping into Congress in 2006, Walz has tackled veterans' issues, agriculture, and education—how noble. Even his involvement in the STOCK Act of 2012, meant to curb insider trading in Congress, was mere political theater. Just look at Nancy Pelosi’s swelling bank account to gauge its success. Walz’s public persona is as flimsy as his legislative accomplishments.

As Minnesota’s governor, Walz seems determined to out-left the left. He’s pushed state-run health care, radicalized education, and supported policies edging toward infanticide. During the 2020 riots, his wife reveled in the smell of burning tires, while his daughter played courier for professional agitators. They even attend a church that avoids male pronouns for God—because why not?

Financially, Walz’s supposed simplicity is more perplexing than commendable. With a net worth of just $330,000—well below the national median for someone his age—some might call it virtuous modesty. But as chair of Minnesota’s Board of Investments, his lack of private investments and reliance on public pensions should raise alarms. Is this really who you want managing state pension funds, or is this just another step toward full-blown communism?

Then there’s his bizarre affection for China. Over 30 trips to the communist regime and a business arranging student exchanges there—strange, to say the least. But the strangest part? He married on June 4, 1994—the fifth anniversary of the Tiananmen Square massacre—and honeymooned in China. For a guy from the Midwest who fancies himself as an average Joe, this obsession with a foreign dictatorship is bizarre—unless it’s part of his progressive agenda. Maybe Walz is just a living, breathing tribute to the Chinese Communist Party.

Ah, Kamala Harris—the DNC's golden child of “democracy.” Her “moderation” is as authentic as Walz’s battlefield exploits. Poor Shapiro, nudged aside like a party favor at a woke soiree—maybe his Jewish heritage didn’t hit the right diversity quota? Meritocracy is so last century. Meanwhile, Walz, in his social justice-approved Zhongshan suit, is ready to parrot whatever Kamala’s teleprompter tells him.

And let’s not forget Harris’s latest FEC comedy special, where Walz magically became her running mate under Biden’s candidate ID. A clever ploy to raid Biden’s war chest while dodging campaign finance laws? At this rate, Walz might as well borrow Biden’s ID for everything—because, really, who needs ethics in this modern age? It’s straight out of the CPC playbook. But don’t worry, the media assures us that Harris-Walz will be a boon for U.S.-China relations.

The Harris-Walz ticket marks the Democratic Party’s radical evolution—a far cry from the days of Bill Clinton and Tip O’Neill. Today’s Democrats embrace extreme government intervention and relentless social justice crusades, with no room for compromise.

Funny how political writings from a decade ago seem outdated, while those from a century ago feel eerily relevant. I guess history does repeat itself—especially when you’re living in a satirical version of Mao’s China, courtesy of Tim Walz and friends.